Skip to content

Homesick

December 27, 2006

“Homesick” by MercyMe

You’re in a better place, I’ve heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I’ve rejoiced for you
But the reason why I’m broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home’s where my heart is then I’m out of place
Lord, won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
I’ve never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don’t understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I’ll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I’m still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home’s where my heart is then I’m out of place
Lord, won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
I’ve never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I’ll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home’s where my heart is then I’m out of place
Lord, won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow

I’ve never been more homesick than now…

I’m homesick, but not neccesarily for Heaven.  I’m homesick for the little apartment my mom, grandmom and I shared on Frankford Ave.  I’m homesick for the time I spent sitting on the floor in front of my mom’s couch.  I’m homesick for the evenings we’d “discuss” who would get to watch the TV show of their choice that night.  I’m homesick for my mom’s hugs at the end of the day that made the crappiest of days bearable.

I’m homesick for the few road trips we took out to Poppy’s cabin, or up to Aunt Cassies.  I’m homesick for “Crome Dome” and Missy, Charlie and Shelly, Tracy and Gordo, Heather and Kimmy, Johnny, Richie and Debbie and all their kids.  I’m even homesick for the too-small pajamas Nanny C. gave me every year.

Never have I missed my mom and grandmom more than now.  Perhaps that is because I am dealing with all of the emotional “crap” that has built up over the past six years.  Wow – that’s over half of a decade…just under a quarter of the years I’ve lived already… How much can happen in six years?  How much can happen in one moment – that moment which hangs between life and death.  They say that it’s not the years on your gravestone that matter, but the dash in between.  That actually doesn’t seem to fit with where I was going, but I’m going to leave it anyway….because it’s true. I’ve wasted too much of my dash just wallowing in self-pity, and expecting others to wallow with me.

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home’s where my heart is then I’m out of place
Lord, won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow.

Advertisements
No comments yet

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: